In the spirit of Edgar Allen Poe and just in time for Hallowe’en, here’s a sonnet of limericks…
At the annual Nasty Clan Dinner
Foul Hubris was named this year’s winner.
“Some people deride
Parading of pride,
But I’m proud of my pride,” quoth that sinner.
Here’s an error I’ll never repeat —
Passing Gluttony the platter of meat.
He devoured the best
And also the rest
And ate the plate, too, as a treat.
“Perverting a person is easy,”
Opined Lust, making many feel queasy.
“Some worry that treachery
Leads one to lechery,
But it’s quite the reverse, and so sleazy.”
Grinned Greed. “Oh, I want it all —
Every object, no matter how small.”
“But where would you stash them?”
Greed wasn’t abashed. “In
My closet, third left down the hall.”
Then Sloth stepped up to the podium,
To garner its share of the odium.
“I’m OK with rhyming.
I’ve a problem with timing.
I meant to be ready but hadn’t gotten around to it.”
‘Twas a statement that sounded absurd.
“I approve of that sign,” Wrath averred.
I saw “Anger Management“
So I asked him just what he meant.
He said, “‘Anger‘ here serves as the verb.”
Bouyed by poetic afflatus
Envy whined ceaselessly at us:
“When you look at my history
My grade here’s a mystery.
I rate higher than seventh-sin status.”
I could reel off sin jokes by the hour
On stage or in pulpit or bower,
But masking Sin’s majesty
Is part of its strategy,
Hiding its temporal power.
Raw Lust got it started, of course,
For human and hamster and horse.
With our sexual habits
We breed as do rabbits,
But Malthus’ fierce Law is in force.
Many’s the time that I’ve said it —
Give Arrogance full gold-star credit
For bull-headed actions
That kindle reactions,
Set off distractions
And civil infractions,
If it’s not a good thing then Pride’s bred it.
Crows Gluttony, rolling in mirth,
“With luck you’ll all eat up the Earth.
At the rate Man’s progressing
Quite soon we’ll have nothing but dearth.”
Then up step twins Envy and Greed,
The archtypes of unbounded need.
“‘What’s yours is mine‘
And we think that’s just fine.
It’s our motto in word and in deed.”
Sloth grants us reluctance to act,
In the face of uncomfortable fact.
“Though the future looks bloody
The proposals need study.
Let’s wait ’til we solve it exact.”
Then Wrath roars in, rousing the room.
“My fury’s the flame in your doom!
Marshall all of your forces
To fight for resources!
War gives you these things that go ‘BOOM!'”
~~ Rich Olcott